HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Donald Sterling announced Thursday he has decided to drop his lawsuit against the NBA and agreed to sell the L.A. Clippers for two billion dollars. He said he’s tired of the constant racial controversy. He’s going to take the two billion dollars and buy the Washington Redskins.

Baywatch star David Hasselhoff will host a National Geographic special commemorating the twenty-fifth anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall this year. He’s quite well known in Germany. The reason they tore down the wall was to get away from David Hasselhoff’s singing.

Justin Bieber was shown in a video Friday singing a song praising the Ku Klux Klan. Last week he told a racist joke on a video and next week is his trial for drugged driving. Justin Bieber’s mother just tweeted that she’d like to have another child, unless her demands are met.

France hosted the leaders from U.S., Britain, Germany and Russia Friday to mark D-Day’s seventieth anniversary. Vladimir Putin couldn’t help exuding a sense of superiority over the other world leaders. He’s the only one who can get breakfast at McDonald’s after 10:30 a.m.

The White House poll numbers showed a loss of confidence in foreign policy Friday. The administration remains defiant. Susan Rice was asked to comment on this past weekend’s big anniversary and she declared that O.J. Simpson served NBC Sports with honor and distinction.

The White House made no apologies Thursday for agreeing with the Taliban to hand over five Taliban leaders in exchange for Sgt. Bergdahl. They had good reason for not consulting with Congress about the swap. It’s against U.S. government policy to negotiate with Republicans.

Attorney General Eric Holder announced he’s forming a federal task force to clamp down on what the administration considers domestic terrorists. You know what this means. If you are from Idaho, you won’t be able to get on any plane in America but if you’re from Guantanamo, you can.

The Taliban celebrated after the five Taliban leaders were flown from Guantanamo to Qatar. The bearded men walked freely through Qatar shopping and enjoying themselves and telling interviewers about their religious zeal. They looked like the stars of Goat Dynasty.

The Houston City Council passed an ordinance making all city bathrooms, showers and dress facilities open to both sexes. Texans killed in battle have gravestones marked Alamo, Shiloh and Guadalcanal. Now they’ll also read Didn’t Leave the Toilet Seat Down at TGI Friday’s.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s Escalade was involved in a DUI arrest in Toronto last weekend while he was out of town in rehab for a month. When Rob Ford’s in rehab and his Escalade’s drunk, it’s the clearest sign yet that the machines have won. Now O.J. can claim the Bronco did it.

L.A. marked the twentieth anniversary of the murder of O.J. Simpson’s wife Nicole today. It was a shock. If someone told you beforehand that an NFL Hall of Fame running back from USC would kill his wife and the jury would let him off, you’d have bet the farm it’d be Frank Gifford.

Monica Lewinsky will give her first TV interview in ten years to the National Geographic Channel. What memories. There was a time in this country when we didn’t elect a president to convince ourselves that we weren’t racist, we elected a president for his entertainment value.

Japan asked that kamikaze pilots’ farewell letters be included in the U.N. ‘s World War II documents. They want to legitimize their war effort. Last December the surviving Japanese pilots who attacked Pearl Harbor attended the annual Pearl Harbor attack reunion dinner in Hawaii. It was a big surprise, as always, because they never announce when they’re coming.

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