Ad-Express and Daily Iowegian, Centerville, IA

Columns

October 22, 2013

RINOs and AINOs represent real Americans?

Now we bore deep into the bunker that houses the triumphant Tea Party headquarters, where they are celebrating a tactical victory over the forces of complacency and complaining loudly about all the chicken-hearted Republicans In Name Only who bowed to the will of our socialist president, and voted to reopen the government and avoid a global financial meltdown.

“Wussies. Those RINOs don’t represent real Americans. You know who they represent: AINOs. Americans In Name Only. Because only people who believe exactly what we believe deserve to be called real Americans. AINOs should be counted as 3/5ths of an American. We and only we are listening to the real heartbeat of this country. Nobody else has the same filter. Which is made out of tinfoil.

“The media keep asking, ‘How does it feel to lose?’ But we didn’t lose. We won. We won by losing. All part of the plan. Because only in losing do real winners hone their skills at winning, whereas real losers just feel normal. Winners never quit. And quitters never win. And winning quitters are like quitting winners: just more banana slugs on the Great Salt Flat with a blown head gasket.

“You know who lost? The so-called leaders of this party lost. The ones who flopped faster than a French soccer team that had been surgically de-boned. Who abandoned the good fight in the name of expediency. Who slept with the enemy and will have their heads shaved and be thrown into the street someday. Because there is no negotiating when you’re dealing with the terrorists calling themselves the Democratic Party.

“Oh, don’t get us wrong, we are all in favor of compromise. As long as it’s the other side doing it. We have no intention of compromising because that would be abandoning our principles. They don’t have principles so it’s shouldn’t be a problem.

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Poll

The Iowegian wants readers to think about the solicitation ordinance that will prevent groups or individuals from entering a roadway to solicit money. The Centerville City Council in June by a 5-0 vote passed the first reading of just such an ordinance. Public pressure and during a subsequent special meeting, the council voted 3-2 to table the ordinance. A second special meeting to discuss the solicitation ordinance is scheduled for 5:30 p.m. Thursday, Aug. 7 at City Hall. So, the question of the week is, "Do you or do you not support the ordinance to prevent solicitation of funds in city streets?"

A. I support the ordinance
B. I do not support the ordinance
C. Not sure
     View Results
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